2. Surf
the Internet

Online, we were looking for personal experiences and also facts and
data. It seemed like every friend and link pointed us to International
Living.
We spent seemingly endless hours on the site sifting through lots of
very fragmented pieces that never quite led to what we were hoping for.
We did get some first-person stories of moving, but not much practical
detail. While writing this I found a list
of tips for moving abroad which has some very useful hints,
though like their other articles it doesn’t really serve as a
step-by-step guide.

We also looked at some retire abroad sites, such as Escape Artist (too
destination focused) or the Network
for Living Abroad (difficult to use). Much more useful for us
was The Blayleys,
the blog of a tandem cycling couple who had moved to New Zealand, which
had very good logistical details on things like the cost of shipping a
home and pets.

As far as learning the legal immigration process, including criteria,
costs, and national variations, we found the best sources to be on
government immigration websites. Canada and
New Zealand
are particularly well designed, and worth visiting even for people not
considering them as destinations. Not only do they clearly outline the
application process, but also have features useful for planning, like
discussion groups with people asking the same questions we had. We
liked the way New Zealand organized by phases- deciding, then applying
and moving, and then work and support. We began understanding the
variety of point systems, financial requirements and work requirements.
While some sites weren’t perfectly user friendly, we got a
good
sense of how to go about applying and improving our approval odds. We
also learned that we were no longer in the prime of our youth.
According to various national immigration policies, apparently those of
us over 40 are closer to downhill slide than we’d realized.
Getting a 2-year working visa gets measurably harder after 40, and
nearly impossible for some countries after 45. We uncovered the
unexpected element of “now or never” to factor into
our
planning.

3. Talk to
People

Meanwhile, we started actively seeking out people who had done some
kind of migration. Talking to people who’ve done it has a lot
of
advantages. Although any one experience was probably not going to be
exactly like ours, we could focus the discussion on our specific
questions, as opposed to reading through lots of details that
don’t apply. We could really target how they had made their
decisions, whether it had met their expectations, and get advice on
what we might be failing to plan for.  We talked to people
who’d had shorter adventures and more permanent settlements.
Particularly keen to talk to anyone who’d moved to or from
the
countries on our list, we still gained a great deal from stories of
very dissimilar destinations.

During this time, a close friend and co-worker of M’s who had
long dreamed of using their European parent company to wangle a job
overseas applied and was selected for a position in England. Her
experience was extremely different from ours, since she was
transferring rather than quitting, and the company was helping with all
of the immigration details. Also, her entire process from application
to resettlement was a two-month whirlwind. Even so, she owned a home in
the US, had no friends or family at her new destination and had never
lived abroad before. We had excellent discussions about her excitement
and fears, and sorting out priorities. Since her move was so much
sooner than ours, we got to observe that an overseas move
didn’t
have to involve excessive drawn-out planning and contingencies. We
watched her settle into England where she owns a house and loves her
job. We knew she missed her family but eased that with trips back and
forth and before long was starting to consider her next adventure.
Although we were doing it differently, it was helpful to see that
sometimes it’s okay to just do it and be done.

In talking to our friend Pete who has lived abroad a few times, he gave
us an invaluable gem of advice, “Give yourself permission to
absolutely hate three things about your new country. Then, when
something is driving you mad, you just say ‘That’s
number
1’ and move on.” He made clear that no amount of
planning
would eliminate all frustrations, so handling them would be all in our
attitude.

Such conversations yielded innumerable other tidbits ranging from
expectations about medical exams to hints on shipping furnishings. We
found that even people we didn’t know very well were very
excited
to share stories and support our adventure. The biggest lesson, though,
was that virtually everyone was glad they had their migration
experience, even if it hadn’t worked out exactly as
they’d
planned.

After talking to a few people, we realized we also had near first hand
experience from M’s father’s year in Paris. Even
though
he was only going for one year, we had been involved step-by-step in
the planning process. We’d been there as he dealt with
immigration, banking, finding a residence, leaving his house in the US,
as well as all the social factors of leaving. We were in regular
contact as he settled in, working to establish routines and community
without a job or any close friends. We even got to visit him about half
way through and share in his proud discoveries of the best local bakery
or the perfect little restaurant.  Although he had some big
challenges like language and being alone which we wouldn’t
face,
having seen his highs and lows and his successful overall result was
very encouraging.

Although we never found a complete how-to reference, we were able to
use the internet, books and people to successfully confirm that
migration was going to be achievable, and most likely be a positive
adventure for us.  Now it was just a matter of deciding
where we wanted to go.